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★★★★★ 5
......................COINCIDENCE?…I was on page 130 when my husband
of 43 yrs kissed me good by, walked out the door, fell down -& never got up. His last words to me when I tried to help him up were " I'm ok".
The paramedics worked on him for over an hour but never got a pulse. He died less than 5' from me -but, I couldn't even hold his hand.
He'd converted to Catholism but, became a Catholic without a church; like me!
Why I chose this book is still beyond me......especially of this Saint; we'd been to her shrine, in Spain, yrs ago. I'd found it
'too much'… the relics (a finger) -as I remember it struck me as wrong.
On that same trip, we went to Fatima; my husband told me he just knew something special had happened here when we visited the shrine & the small statue of Our Lady of Fatima. I,
(the Catholic, raised by devote parents & nuns in school) who really wanted to feel the same -didn't.
It is 3wks. since his death.
Maybe, I'm just still numb.
We were 24/7 for over 43 yrs. (we had a business- then retired & traveled - we had a wonderful life) BUT…
How could I live now...without him? And Why?
I waited for a 'breakdown'… for his loss to hit me. I felt waves of grief, that were physical -go through me for a few days; but, no great sobbing of tears.
The only explanation I have (& I thank God for it) is that I do feel him with me still, in my heart/soul. My daily prayer is that I never feel That loss. (being the cynic that I am, I can not begin to express what this means to me) It is so real a presence & comfort!
And, 'for the record', the very first call I made was to the church we weren't going to. (In 'my' day, if you weren't in 'good standing' you didn't get a funeral Mass.) We got a it and were welcomed!
My Faith, is still pathetically weak. Father told me to offer my grief as sacrifice. I'm trying.
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Reviewed in the United States on November 25, 2018
